Jokes & Funnies
- Thread starter Andylaser
- Start date
Beachlover
Moderator
A Catholic girl went to confession and said to the priest,
"I'm pregnant.
He asked, "How did this happen, my child?"
She said, "I think it must be the second coming."
The priest, shocked by this reply asked, "What makes you think it's the second coming?"
She replied,
"Because I swallowed the first one."
"I'm pregnant.
He asked, "How did this happen, my child?"
She said, "I think it must be the second coming."
The priest, shocked by this reply asked, "What makes you think it's the second coming?"
She replied,
"Because I swallowed the first one."
Beachlover
Moderator
BorderReiver
Moderator
If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme.
But read and lead don't rhyme, and neither do read and lead.
But read and lead don't rhyme, and neither do read and lead.
ElThomsono
VIP Member
Some books will rhyme bird with heard 😑
Rightly so.
BorderReiver
Moderator
Beachlover
Moderator
MaC
Moderator
Beachlover
Moderator
Quarterstaff
VIP Member
I did!
Me too, though I am totally astonished I’m still here!
I never really thought I’d make 25! How I managed to be here now is a mystery
Amongst quite a few very near misses on various escapades, I came very close to ending up under the turf at 21 after decking out whilst soloing a climb. Probably the wisest choice I made was to stop riding motorbikes.
BorderReiver
Moderator
Oldtimer
Explorer
Wnen I was in my twenties, I heard an octogenarian say,"If I had known I was going to live this long I'd have taken better care of myself." At the time I thought this was a very funny joke; I'm not laughing now.Me too, though I am totally astonished I’m still here!
I never really thought I’d make 25! How I managed to be here now is a mystery
Amongst quite a few very near misses on various escapades, I came very close to ending up under the turf at 21 after decking out whilst soloing a climb. Probably the wisest choice I made was to stop riding motorbikes.
CaptainBeaky
VIP Member
Should be in the toilet paper section.
bushwacker
VIP Member
you obviously dont value your arsehole
MaC
Moderator
I was wondering how much a plumber would be to clear the blockage
Andylaser
Administrator
But not with beard
ElThomsono
VIP Member
Metallica have a lot to answer for.
Beachlover
Moderator
While on a date a women goes to the bathroom
Man: Uh... wrong way that's the men's room
Woman: Oh my GOD! this is so embarrassing!
Man: It's not a big deal.
Woman: I guess not, but you know what they say, old habits die hard.
Man: ...............
Man: Uh... wrong way that's the men's room
Woman: Oh my GOD! this is so embarrassing!
Man: It's not a big deal.
Woman: I guess not, but you know what they say, old habits die hard.
Man: ...............
MaC
Moderator
God must have loved calories
He made so many of them
He made so many of them
