Aye, those first few interactions with hash and family can do that.
Today.
- Thread starter Beachlover
- Start date
Aye, those first few interactions with hash and family can do that.
Templogin
VIP Member
I must be watching too much on Gaza. My first thought when I saw the angled ladder with the aircon on top was that Hezbolah were trying out a new launch method. Well done for getting it up there. I am no longer fit for lifting heavy things, so nothing above 15Kg max, and only once and not for long.
I once left a jar of hazelnut coffee in a works kitchen. I stuck a label on it saying "this is free, help yourselves, it is also vile". They should have known that I always tell the truth, but a few had to try it. Three of them came into my IT room individually to agree that the coffee was awful.
Don't try using the senility excuse to explain away how you "accidentally" ended up wearing your wife's knicks.
Senility kicked me up the arse twice today.
...snip...
At the allotment I decided to make mint tea so went and picked some bits from the herb patch and put some in a mug while chatting to a mate. Once he’d gone, I decided I’d have coffee. Now mint coffee would probably not have been too bad, but for anyone yet to try oregano coffee, just don’t bother!
It’ll be y-fronts over my trousers next…..
I once left a jar of hazelnut coffee in a works kitchen. I stuck a label on it saying "this is free, help yourselves, it is also vile". They should have known that I always tell the truth, but a few had to try it. Three of them came into my IT room individually to agree that the coffee was awful.
Don't try using the senility excuse to explain away how you "accidentally" ended up wearing your wife's knicks.
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Diamond Dave
Happy Camper
It’s an age thing…..
ElThomsono
VIP Member
Geez, what a mission I've just had. Laura's gone out with her mate so I've brought both kids back from nursery, swapped the cars over as I need to shift something tomorrow. They wanted to play in the back of the Landy so fair enough. After that into the house, I'm meant to hang some pictures then bath the kids but the house is cold so I light the fire. Once that's on its pushing on a bit so I run a bath, they dump an entire jar of change over the floor. You ever tried to pick up coins from a hard surface? It's pretty much one at a time. I put the kids in the bath, have an absolute fight on my hands to get them in, I tell them not to splash and go to tend to the fire. Back upstairs, water everywhere. Ok Sully you've lost your Marshall teddy for tonight. Quick bath, kids out, more aggro. Sully kicking and screaming, I put him on the step while I dry Saff. Put the TV on just to wind her down, empty the bins, Sully still saying no to me and playing silly buggers. I pack away his train set and tell him he'll lose the other if he doesn't sit nicely on the sofa. "where will you put it?" "oh I don't know, perhaps I'll give it away to another girl or boy?". Take Saff up to bed, she keeps messing about instead of choosing a book. Finally gives in, chooses two, gets her teeth brushed, books ready, she climbs into bed. Tuck her in and go to deal with Sully. He refuses to do a wee. Ok, I'll go and get that other trainset. He capitulates. By the time he's upstairs Saff is asking to do a wee. I left her, back into bed, more faff. Deal with Sully. Brushed teeth nicely, explanation that it makes me sad when he doesn't do as I ask. Half way through the book she's asking to do another wee. Ok, I agree but it's the last one or I'll shut your door. She actually produces this time so fair enough. I lift her into bed, she goes spare, insists she climb in herself. Ok. She climbs in, trips on the duvet and bangs her head on the brick wall. Not hard, but enough. Wee cuddle etc. back into bed, she starts asking for books in bed. No. Wailing. No. Furious wailing and kicking legs. I shut the door and leave (this works really well, BTW). Put Sully to bed, ask if he has water, no, ok. He wants a cuddle so climbs out and I give him one. I climb up and show him the water he told me four times wasn't there. Back to Saff, she mellows as soon as I open the door. Tucked in, rub noses, night night. Come downstairs and the fire has gone Chernobyl. I open the door and a blazing log falls out and shatters into red hot cinders. It sets my brush on fire, I put a gauntlet on, grab the log and put it back in the fire. Take the gauntlet off, stub the brush fire out and start sweeping the cinders. It's fucking roasting, glove back on. Swept up, door shut. Right, seems I didn't get a chance to put the pictures on the wall, and it's now half seven and all I've had to eat today is a pastie and chips. How does anyone cope as a single parent?
ElThomsono
VIP Member
Could you believe these two aren't actual cherubs?
Jaggededge
Explorer
You obviously don't hit em hard enough.
MaC
Moderator
I read your life, and I raise you....two boys, bunk beds, trays of lego......and Son2 in top bunk throws up ....muesli and milk....over bother below and into the trays of lego......and they both had mumps AND measles at the time.
The only reassurance I can offer is that I still love both my kids
and they love us too, and we genuinely like and get on well.You're doing fine; you're doing better than fine
Go and get some dinner and something to drink and chill out in front of that fire for a wee bit.Oh, and the kids are brilliant
M
Templogin
VIP Member
I think that you did brilliantly ET. My then wife left me with our three-year old whilst she went for a night out with the girls. In addition she asked me to do simple quick jobs. My son was a really bright lad but needed a lot of input so that he didn't start unscrewing mains sockets off the wall or feeding foreign objects into the VCR etc. etc. Cutting a long story short, by 21:30 I got him asleep, that was supposed to happen at 19:00 - 19:30. Neither of the jobs got done and I needed a lie down. She got in at 23:00-ish and I had to ask how she managed to do it. Oh how she laughed when I was tired and had a headache!
MaC
Moderator
I am clearing my notebooks. I write and have written notes and recipes and just stuff every single day in life, and there is no point to these. They're full of drawings and sketches and information on folks long gone who matter to no one apart from my memory of them in a time and place, and something we were doing.
The one I'm clearing just now has my delight in Son2 getting five Highers and 'safely into Glasgow University', and notes on a rush basketmaking course I'd done with a lady called Kay Anderson who lived in Arbroath. I loved that course, had such fun with the rush work thereafter, and I still have the baskets I made...so I googled to see if Kay were still among the living, but she's away. However, there's a fellow called Nick Hand who has done photo recording of craftsfolks up and down the British Isles, and he has Kay spinning
It was such a pleasure to see and I admit I'm a little tearful, but the memories are fun and a true pleasure.
Anyway, looking through the rest of Hand's youtube listings, there's one for the Little Mesters......and I'm sure some of you will know of it, but here's a link for a quiet sit down with a coffee and a peruse
The one I'm clearing just now has my delight in Son2 getting five Highers and 'safely into Glasgow University', and notes on a rush basketmaking course I'd done with a lady called Kay Anderson who lived in Arbroath. I loved that course, had such fun with the rush work thereafter, and I still have the baskets I made...so I googled to see if Kay were still among the living, but she's away. However, there's a fellow called Nick Hand who has done photo recording of craftsfolks up and down the British Isles, and he has Kay spinning
It was such a pleasure to see
and I admit I'm a little tearful, but the memories are fun and a true pleasure.Anyway, looking through the rest of Hand's youtube listings, there's one for the Little Mesters......and I'm sure some of you will know of it, but here's a link for a quiet sit down with a coffee and a peruse
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BorderReiver
Moderator
Yesterday actually, but coming home from the morning dog walk I saw a fairly fresh dog turd on the path. On the dog turd were two beautifully fresh, pristine Peacock butterflies having a feed. It would have made a beautiful photograph but the bloody dog was pulling so hard to get at the butterflies that I couldn't get my phone out before they flew off.
Beachlover
Moderator
Sat on my allotment this afternoon in the transient warmth and sunshine drinking tea and talking the usual bollix. In the hour we spent putting the world to rights (or more truthfully condemning the human race), we saw several greenfinches, a couple of male robins, a couple of blue tits, a blackbird a couple of magpies and several pigeons around the feeder on my brassica cage as well as a buzzard being seen off by crows, jackdaws and seagulls.
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Saint-Just
Administrator
A young hare yesterday went by the French window of the dining room while we were enjoying an(other) apéritif.
Quite a few hoopoes in the woods as we were trying to clear up the damages of the last few storms
However the tree below owes his fate to the great capricorn beetle…
We also already have some bluebells but they are few and far between compared to what we see in Kent. Mind, there is no coppicing so this may explain that.
Quite a few hoopoes in the woods as we were trying to clear up the damages of the last few storms
However the tree below owes his fate to the great capricorn beetle…
We also already have some bluebells but they are few and far between compared to what we see in Kent. Mind, there is no coppicing so this may explain that.
MaC
Moderator
After yesterday's aborted trip I headed out this morning. Total time up to EK, shopped, and back home was under fifty minutes. Can't complain about that and I got what I wanted too
and I got what I wanted too 
Oldtimer
Explorer
There's got to be a metaphor for modern life in there somewhere.
Templogin
VIP Member
er yesterday. Had got to bed at 01:00, read for a little bit then had a lay in until quarter to eight ... pm!
ElThomsono
VIP Member
We're going on holiday tomorrow and the washing machine has started banging about badly, I thought it was bearings initially.
Ah, that's probably the culprit right there. £100 for the parts, I'm gonna fix it. It's a good machine.
ouch! that's broke that is.
We're going on holiday tomorrow and the washing machine has started banging about badly, I thought it was bearings initially.
Ah, that's probably the culprit right there. £100 for the parts, I'm gonna fix it. It's a good machine.
Two of our lawn sections have now been cut and one scarified. The scarified one took three cuts to get it short enough, the other one has only taken two cuts. I still need to tackle the section at the bottom of the garden but it is going to take a bit of work.
Also squeezed in a trip to the skip with the trailer. It was the happy staff on shift so they helped me unload it all. Pity they don't take plasterboard there so I have to go to another council skip for that.
G
Also squeezed in a trip to the skip with the trailer. It was the happy staff on shift so they helped me unload it all. Pity they don't take plasterboard there so I have to go to another council skip for that.
G
MaC
Moderator
Step onto my grass and you'll be ankle deep in mud :sigh:
Even the pigeons are avoiding it.
Today Himself and Son2 cleaned out the rones. They had fun (not) with the ladders, but it's done for another year.
You'd think with all the rain we get that the rones would be washed pristine.
Even the pigeons are avoiding it.
Today Himself and Son2 cleaned out the rones. They had fun (not) with the ladders, but it's done for another year.
You'd think with all the rain we get that the rones would be washed pristine.
Jaggededge
Explorer
My grass is in dire need of a cut but until it dries out some I'm leaving it. When wet it becomes a massive trial of patience and temper.
Jaggededge
Explorer
And where's Rich? I've noticed his presence over on BCUK where I only lurk but he's vanished from here.?????
CaptainBeaky
VIP Member
Today I left at 0415 to get to Northampton at 0630 for a job.
Finished at 1230, but the drive home was hard work...
Finished at 1230, but the drive home was hard work...
Beachlover
Moderator
He's about and popping in. I'm sure he'll post when he's ready.
You looking for him to cut your grass?
