he was speechless when he came home and found us sat in their lounge.
Aye, those first few interactions with hash and family can do that.
he was speechless when he came home and found us sat in their lounge.
Senility kicked me up the arse twice today.
...snip...
At the allotment I decided to make mint tea so went and picked some bits from the herb patch and put some in a mug while chatting to a mate. Once he’d gone, I decided I’d have coffee. Now mint coffee would probably not have been too bad, but for anyone yet to try oregano coffee, just don’t bother!
It’ll be y-fronts over my trousers next…..
It’s an age thing…..You're a bit late Dave. We're home now. Had a great trip. Loved them all.
Geez, what a mission I've just had. Laura's gone out with her mate so I've brought both kids back from nursery, swapped the cars over as I need to shift something tomorrow. They wanted to play in the back of the Landy so fair enough. After that into the house, I'm meant to hang some pictures then bath the kids but the house is cold so I light the fire. Once that's on its pushing on a bit so I run a bath, they dump an entire jar of change over the floor. You ever tried to pick up coins from a hard surface? It's pretty much one at a time. I put the kids in the bath, have an absolute fight on my hands to get them in, I tell them not to splash and go to tend to the fire. Back upstairs, water everywhere. Ok Sully you've lost your Marshall teddy for tonight. Quick bath, kids out, more aggro. Sully kicking and screaming, I put him on the step while I dry Saff. Put the TV on just to wind her down, empty the bins, Sully still saying no to me and playing silly buggers. I pack away his train set and tell him he'll lose the other if he doesn't sit nicely on the sofa. "where will you put it?" "oh I don't know, perhaps I'll give it away to another girl or boy?". Take Saff up to bed, she keeps messing about instead of choosing a book. Finally gives in, chooses two, gets her teeth brushed, books ready, she climbs into bed. Tuck her in and go to deal with Sully. He refuses to do a wee. Ok, I'll go and get that other trainset. He capitulates. By the time he's upstairs Saff is asking to do a wee. I left her, back into bed, more faff. Deal with Sully. Brushed teeth nicely, explanation that it makes me sad when he doesn't do as I ask. Half way through the book she's asking to do another wee. Ok, I agree but it's the last one or I'll shut your door. She actually produces this time so fair enough. I lift her into bed, she goes spare, insists she climb in herself. Ok. She climbs in, trips on the duvet and bangs her head on the brick wall. Not hard, but enough. Wee cuddle etc. back into bed, she starts asking for books in bed. No. Wailing. No. Furious wailing and kicking legs. I shut the door and leave (this works really well, BTW). Put Sully to bed, ask if he has water, no, ok. He wants a cuddle so climbs out and I give him one. I climb up and show him the water he told me four times wasn't there. Back to Saff, she mellows as soon as I open the door. Tucked in, rub noses, night night. Come downstairs and the fire has gone Chernobyl. I open the door and a blazing log falls out and shatters into red hot cinders. It sets my brush on fire, I put a gauntlet on, grab the log and put it back in the fire. Take the gauntlet off, stub the brush fire out and start sweeping the cinders. It's fucking roasting, glove back on. Swept up, door shut. Right, seems I didn't get a chance to put the pictures on the wall, and it's now half seven and all I've had to eat today is a pastie and chips. How does anyone cope as a single parent?
There's got to be a metaphor for modern life in there somewhere.Yesterday actually, but coming home from the morning dog walk I saw a fairly fresh dog turd on the path. On the dog turd were two beautifully fresh, pristine Peacock butterflies having a feed. It would have made a beautiful photograph but the bloody dog was pulling so hard to get at the butterflies that I couldn't get my phone out before they flew off.
ouch! that's broke that is.
We're going on holiday tomorrow and the washing machine has started banging about badly, I thought it was bearings initially.
Ah, that's probably the culprit right there. £100 for the parts, I'm gonna fix it. It's a good machine.
He's about and popping in. I'm sure he'll post when he's ready.And where's Rich? I've noticed his presence over on BCUK where I only lurk but he's vanished from here.?????